Berlusconi: riding cats and dogs to gain support

Sunday, 30 March 2014. In a desperate attempt to gain support in the run-up to May European Elections, Silvio Berlusconi has become a strenuous campaigner for animal adoption.

The Mr Berlusconi is looking for a tiger to ride, in order to gain some support at least within his ageing target group, the young pensioners, and show that ditching the People of Liberty movement (Popolo della Libertà) and re-founding his old party “Forza Italia” (Go Italy o Forward Italy, according to the interpretations) was, all in all, a pretty good idea.

“This dog is my happiness” says a visibly satisfied Berlusconi on the Facebook page of Dudù,
Francesca Pascale's pet (photograph: Forza Dudù)

So far the disgraced politician (who was sentenced for tax fraud, booted from parliament, banned from travelling abroad, and his woes related to the bunga-bunga parties sex scandal are far from over) has been clutching at straws, lacking a proper wild beast, he is now experimenting with cats and dogs, playing the role of the wise and nice elderly man (his look had already been changed accordingly). Beggers can't be choosers


What's the plan? The former prime minister of Italy reportedly intervened with a phone call to one of his fan clubs, the Rome-based Forza Silvio (Italian for Go on Silvio) “We must strive to find a father or a mother for thousands of abandoned pets. Dogs and cats are going to help us to win the European elections,”: evidently he decided that if he cannot be the saviour of the country, he can still play the role of the saviour of its beloved little beasts.

There are “over 10 million Italians who have a dog or cat” allegedly said Berlusconi, adding that and they “will be able to look on us with fondness and help the moderates become a strong political force, a majority”.

The strategy started a few months ago, when the bridgehead of the ride of the pets was laid down, by creating a powerful Facebook page dubbed “Forza Dudù”, being “forza” the catchword of the so-called Berluscones (slang for supporters of the media tycoon) and Dudù the white poodle of Francesca Pascale (the 29-year-old female and blonde partner of SB) mimicking the “Forza Silvio” and “Forza Italia” slogans. Unfortunately the brilliantly made page – where the milky canine talks to fans by the use of clever and witty bubbles – only managed to collect less than 6,000 likes.

Rumours spread that Berlusconi might also ponder taking part in a remake of One Hundred and One Dalmatians (which could be renamed One Hundred and One Poodles), taking on the role of an elder Roger Radcliffe, as an extreme measure.